Hi God. It’s me again, Spudsie. I need some help. Again.
You know Mr. Spuds and I have been visiting a new church recently. And I LOVE the authenticity I’ve seen there. And I’m feeling really compelled to get more involved. Yet I’m hesitating.
Is this the right place for Mr. Spuds and me? (Did you locate it so close to us that we couldn’t help but find it eventually?? J ) I know no church is perfect. And I also know there are a lot of churches that wouldn’t be right for us because of the theology/doctrine/teachings/etc.
This one feels right so far. You know how hesitant I am to trust my feelings—so I find myself looking for concrete things to back up my “gut.”
Do they believe in the Bible? Yep. Do they believe it is the perfect word of You? Yep.
Do they believe their goal (individual and corporate) is to bring other people into a relationship with You? Yep.
Do they believe in being open about who they are and what their struggles are? Yep.
Do they hold the same basic tenets of faith that I believe are essential to knowing You and leading others to a relationship with You? Yep….well…..mostly….well….I don’t know. There is one slight sticking point here.
Here’s where I’m stuck. You know I was raised attending a Church of Christ which taught the “six steps to Salvation” of “hear the word of God, believe the word of God, repent of your sins, confess your sins to God, be baptized, and live a life faithful to God.” (Otherwise known as the single word “hearbelieverepentconfessandlivefaithfully.)
You’ve worked on me over the years. You’ve helped me grow to a point where I understand that no work (or works) on my part can earn my salvation. It’s a gift from YOU! Freely given if I choose to accept it. And in understanding that I’ve become convicted that baptism is an outward sign of an inward faith. That baptism is NOT what saves me. Your grace saves me. Your love saves me. You save me. Not something I do, or have done to me.
Yet I’ve continued to attend churches that practice baptizing people at the same time they confess You. At the same time they invite you into their lives. And I suppose I continued to assume (without giving it much thought) that at the point of baptism You entered their heart, their lives.
But that doesn’t match baptism being an outward sign of an inward faith does it?
This new church offers baptisms several times a year. AFTER people have invited You into their lives. After they have accepted You as their Savior. They teach that people are saved by You entering their lives. Period. That You are there even without a baptism.
And I’m struggling with that.
Are You asking me to grow? Gently nudging me to see if I really believe baptism is an outward sign of an inward faith? “Okay Spudsie. Let’s see what you really think.”
I need some help here.
Often in the past when I’ve heard things preached or taught that “sounded” reasonable but went against what You have said in the Bible I felt the “wrongness” in my gut. My throat would tighten. My stomach would be in knots. I would have a fight or flight type of response. And I’ve always listened to that. And taken the teachings back to the Bible and been able to clearly see where the teaching didn’t agree with Your word.
I don’t feel any of that panic with this question of “delayed” baptism. This church teaches that baptism is still a very important, very special, very sacred action. (But You already knew that!) They simply teach salvation in a way different from what I’ve lived with for so many years. I’m having problems trying to determine if my discomfort with the teaching is because of my formative years of “baptism is necessary for salvation” sermons. Or is it something bigger than that?
So I’m asking for help in this area. (Along with all of the other areas You are already helping me. Thank You!!) If this isn’t the right church for Mr. Spuds and I, I need You to make it super clear. (Preferably a sign in the parking lot reading “Spudsie—this isn’t the right church for you!” That would be really clear! LOL!) I know Your timing is always perfect, so I ask this next part humbly. If you could make it super clear, super soon I would really, really appreciate it. You know how hard it is for me to open up to people. And I think I want to get involved with and open up to some of the people at this church. So (again, asked in all humility) if this isn’t the right place for Mr. Spuds and I please make it very clear to me very soon.
I’ll continue to wrestle with this issue. I simply wanted to take a few minutes and ask You for some specific help. If You want me to grow and are using this as a way to help me, I appreciate it. You’re being incredibly gently. Thanks!!
If I’m feeling drawn to this church for reasons that have more to do with me than with You, please open my eyes and show me that.
If this is where Mr. Spuds and I should be, please help me feel that “peace that passeth all understanding” (You know in my heart I’m a King James kind of gal!) when I’m in situations that encourage me to open up to people. Help me feel that same sense of safety I feel when I’m talking with Jim. Provide that protection for me. And help me to recognize it.
Whew! That’s quite the laundry list of requests isn’t it? One last one, if I may.
Please take all of this stuff in my heart that I cannot even begin to articulate at all and give me what I need to grow. As gently as You can.
I love You.
Your devoted and struggling Potato,
Spudsie
Amen
What a lovely post! I found your blog during a tag surf and found we are on similar journeys. I added you to my blogroll (hope you don’t mind). I haven’t been blogging long, one month, and you’re my first addition.
Good luck in your travels!
Goosey
Just found you thru AlphaInventions. Wanted to give you something to think about in regards to baptism being part of salvation.
If baptism was a necessary part of salvation, then what about the thief on the cross next to Christ. Jesus said to him (the thief), this day you will be in heaven with me. How could that be if baptism was a part of the salvation process?
God Bless you in your journey!
Margaret
great prayer—it’s conversational and real. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Ken