Let me start by saying I hope Coach Jim doesn’t sue me for plagiarism! ‘Cause “happiness is a decision” is featured pretty predominately on all his stuff. If I pause to think about it I bet he’ll choose to be happy I “stole” his line….fingers crossed! 😉 (Please don’t sue the potato….please don’t sue the potato….please don’t sue the potato…)
In all seriousness, happiness as a decision (rather than an event) is something I’m becoming more and more comfortable with. I love the concept and have since I first heard it from Jim a few years ago. I was instantly drawn to it. Putting it into practice? Well….that’s another story. It takes a lot of work. It doesn’t come natural.
Or at least it hasn’t in the past.
Two things in the past month helped me realize how much I’ve changed—even within the past six months. How much I’ve really started to integrate that philosophy, that belief, that truth into my life. It’s pretty cool!
A couple of months ago our church started talking about “Dinners of 8.” What on earth is a “dinner of eight???” I asked myself. It turns out it is a dinner for eight people. Well…..whodathunk? LOL. Literally dinners of eight. They ask for couples to host a dinner (pitch-in style) for six other people. They recommend you try to find a group of people you don’t know and sign up for a dinner with them. Dinner with six total strangers.
Oh yeah. Tons of fun for an introvert who prefers books to just about anything else. That sounds as appealing as eating a bowl full of green beans! (Have I ever told my green bean story? Probably not. Suffice it to say that green beans and this potato do NOT get along. I’ll spare you the details.)
Despite my “I’d-really-rather-not-do-this” internal attitude Mr. Spuds and I signed up for a group. We knew none of the people on the list. Didn’t recognize a single name. This could be kinda fun!
What?!?! Fun?!?! Did I really just have that thought??? That’s odd…..that seems fairly out of character for me. Hmmmmm…..
Yep. Sure enough I found myself looking forward to the dinner with a positive attitude and a great deal of curiosity. Wonder who we’ll meet? More curiosity than nerves. In fact there were no nerves involved at all. That surprised me.
As we were getting ready to leave Mr. Spuds commented on felling a tiny-bit nervous about going into such an intimate setting with 6 people we don’t know. He said something like, “If I’m feeling like this I can only imagine how you are feeling!”
That stopped me in my tracks. Not because of what he said, but because I realized I didn’t have any feelings of nervousness at all. None. Zip. Nadda. Zilch. Nothing. I felt calm. Peaceful. Curious. And it all came naturally—automatically. I didn’t have to talk/breathe/stand myself into the feeling. It was already there. No butterflies. No anxiousness about what I would say. Would I remember everyone’s name? Would I say something stupid? Would I put my foot in my mouth? None of those thoughts were running through my head. I was in a totally calm, peaceful, curious place.
Wow.
Really! Wow!
Totally different response than I’ve ever had to meeting a new group of people. I like it!!!
So that was my first hint that I was making some pretty big progress. It didn’t really sink in though.
Thursday was haircut day for the Spuds family. It was also “let’s-add-some-color-to-the-normal-brunette-tinged-with-grey” day. Yup. A potato who colors her hair. Grin!
I totally trust my hairdresser. She knows how to make my hair look good—and keep it super easy for me to take care of. She’s terrific! She’ll always ask if I want something specific done. If I do she does her best to match what my hair will actually do with what I ask for. If I don’t have a specific request I’ll just tell her, “Nope. Just do whatever you want. It’ll look great!”
When she asked me about what hi-lighting I wanted done I told her to do whatever she wanted. Typically she adds some really cool “caramel” highlights in that look neat-o. (Yeah….I need to expand my adjective vocabulary a little..lol) So I wasn’t expecting anything too different. I noticed she was mixing two different colors instead of the normal one. “Hey Chris, what’s that?” Turns out she wanted to do two different colors. One caramel-ish and one one reddish. Okay. I can live with that. “Nothing that will make me look like Ronald McDonald,right?” Nope. No worries there. Great! Go for it!
An hour or so later I’m looking at the finished product. Hmmm….the sunlight is really streaming into the room. Can’t really tell….but the color looks really, REALLY red. Hmmm….okay. Whatever. I’ll get home and see what it really looks like. Thanks Chris!
Jump in the car and pull down the visor mirror. Ummmm…..hmmmmm. This is interesting.
The “reddish” hi-lights? Yeah. “Reddish” my ……ahem…sorry.
Do y’all know what a brand new, shiny, uncirculated penny looks like? Yeah. Copper. That’s the color of my “reddish” highlights. Copper. Bright copper. Think new copper flashing on a new home. Brand new copper wire. Yup. That’s one of my highlight colors.
I’d say it was a color that doesn’t occur in nature…but…well…it’s copper. So it clearly exists in nature. Grin!
It’s not a color I would ever have requested. It’s not a color I would have said, “Great! Let’s try that one!” if asked ahead of time. It’s clearly not a color that naturally grows from my scalp.
And ya know what? It’s okay. In fact, it’s better than okay.
I got home and as soon as Mr. Spuds saw it said, “You’ve got red in your hair!” “You’ve got A LOT of red in your hair! Let me see. Wow. That’s a great Vegas color!” Laughter. “Probably not a conservative, financial office color…”
Ummmmmmm…that doesn’t exactly inspire comfortable-ness with the un-natural color there hun. LOL!
Anyway…..I found myself almost automatically making the decision to be happy with the color. To be excited about it. To want to “rock” the new color palette!
Normally I have a day or so of “Oh. My. Word. What was I thinking adding in BLONDE hi-lights?” when I have the caramel-ish color added. It lightens my hair enough that it catches me off guard every time. Once a week or so has passed I always end up loving it. It’s simply the initial shock that sends me into the “what was I thinking” mode.
This time? Even though the color was more extreme, I didn’t feel any of that. No momentary panic. No “what was I thinking” or “I wonder if this can be fixed” type of hyper-ventilating. None of it. I simply found myself thinking, “I can make this fun! I can be happy with this. It isn’t what I expected. It isn’t something I would have asked for. AND I am going to be happy with it. I’m gonna ROCK this color!”
Wow.
That’s a lot of change for me.
Happiness is a decision…..not an event.
I think I’m finally beginning to “get” that and live it Jim. Cool!! And thank you!!!
Red potato, I see you are a Norland or Klondike rose and not a Russet.
I cheated, I had to look up potato types for my answer. Just for future reference if you ever go blue with your hair you will be a Russian Blue potato.
If you were a carrot we could joke about “copper pennies”, but you’re a ‘tater, so…
I’m going to try to implement your mindset for that meeting I don’t want to attend tomorrow. So as not to strain anything though, for tomorrow I’ll go with “acceptance is a decision.”
Hey, Doc — Acceptance IS a decision — or can be, at any rate — as much as happiness can be a decision. Acceptance is on the path to happiness, btw.
Spudsie, I am SO proud of you. All your practice paying off — those positive emotion muscles are getting stronger, and your deep breathing is occurring more often without your having to think about it. Way cool.
I am just sitting here thinking about how your emerging new attitude is probably depriving you of the opportunity for so many lovely migraines… and I’m guessin’ you are NOT missing those!
In happiness, always.